Do not mistake my silence

I wholeheartedly believe if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

 

Proverbs 12:18

There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

 

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

 

James 1:26

If anyone thinks he is religious without controlling his tongue, his religion is useless and he deceives himself.

 

Matthew 15:10-11

¹⁰ Summoning the crowd, he told them, “Listen and understand: ¹¹ It’s not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth—this defiles a person.”

 

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

 

Proverbs 21:23

The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

 

Pslams 19:14

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.

 

Pslams 34:13

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech.

 

Luke 6:45

A good person produces good out of the good stored up in his heart. An evil person produces evil out of the evil stored up in his heart, for his mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.

 

Matthew 5:43-44

“You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

 

Proverbs 11:9

With his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous are rescued.

 

Should I keep going?

 

So here is… if you want change, GO BE IT! Stop talking about it. Stop demanding it and step up! You want to see better police officers? Make it a job worth having. Respect them and the sacrifices they make to protect and serve our community. Don’t believe they are doing enough? The get yourself in a position to make the change you want to see in these types of departments. Do you think that saying F*** the police, pigs, ACAB, kill the police is going to get good men and women out there everyday to be what we need them to be? Would you really want that job? So many agencies have lowered… yes! Lowered! Their standards for officers because they just need more of them who are willing in todays climate. 

For the people who say “one bad apple is one too many”. True! But do we say the same thing when a teacher is accused to “sexual assault” on a student? Reform on all education and how teachers are employed! The few doctors who are killing us with prescription drug addictions. Where is the outcry of that one? 

Bias exists! If you want to disagree with me, I will be happy to have that conversation on how you do it, probably every day. It’s human nature. Our experiences define us, mold our thinking. Today, we are also heavily influenced by the media/social media because it is such a huge part of our lives. But we can control it, we can control what we read, what we watch and make sure that we are only putting good in. What are you choosing to listen to?

Equality is here. Some may have to work harder to achieve certain things but it is there for the taking. We all have the opportunity to a higher education. We all have the choice to pay for it. Did you catch that word? Choices!!! We are the choices that we make. But the best part is every day we can make new choices! Maybe if we stopped valuing the entertainment industry and making millions of dollars to get out of poverty and started focusing on that education to get there, the jobs that could be reached if we tried, we would see a lot more of it. 

Now here is where I get dirty. I have a hard time with the Black Lives Matter movement. I spent 13 years attending a prominently black church. Some of the most God-fearing people I know. I love my previous church family. You want to know what God says about your situation, just ask and they have a list of verses to get you through it. But it was also very eye opening to how even though they were there Sunday morning saying “Amen!” to what pastor was saying, they were not living and breathing it throughout the week. Especially our age group.  Don’t get me wrong! I am not talking about everyone of course. I know this happens at every church out there. People of all race, sex, education background… people are going to church to show something not to actually learn the word and live the mission. And get it straight, I am not perfect!!! But how can I help change a heart that isn’t listening?  I can teach, love, inspire those people all I want but it has to come from inside. If they are not being “fed” at home, someone else will teach them their ways. I am happily here to help too. I will be here, every step of the way, to help you have a voice, for sure, but I am not going to act like an outside voice of a community is going to make a change if they are not going to do it for themselves. Rule 6 of Jordan Petersons “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” – “Set Your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.” Now we know things will never “perfect” but if you are trying to tell people to stop doing something and then turn around and do it yourself, why do you think things will change. Start where you can. Start at home. Start in your local community and when you set the example then you show others how it is done.

We have to stop yelling and we have to start listening to each other. Stop living on your emotions and think things through. Let’s have a conversation. Let’s have a discussion. Let’s stop fighting and start being responsible, loving human beings.

FInding a Happy Place

Yesterday would have been a Disneyland day. I know, first world problems, but hear me out.

Where do you go when life just seems too much? Where do you go for a break? Especially when you have young kids. Where is that happy place that can reset you to be a better mom, wife?

Mine is Disneyland. It really is the Happiest Place on Earth for me. It was where we had our first date (downtown Disney), it was where we spent our first year dating/getting to know each other, it was where we got engaged, it was where we spent our honeymoon, it has been where we celebrate our kids birthdays. It is filled with amazing memories, a safe place to be a mom of 2 young kids, and my true happy place.

But since March it has been closed, along with the rest of the world. I have be on "shelter in place" with a 2 and 3 year old. So since this has started, there has not been many breaks. Someone needs something from mama at all times. "Get me a snack", "play with me", "wipe my tushy". On top of laundry, breakfast/lunch/dinner, grocery shopping, clean house. Lets not even add that my 2 year old love to ear piercing scream in excitement, anger, sadness, and every other emotion she has. 

It's not like any of this is new (except now I have 2 "wipe my tushy" instead of 1, potty training) but now the times where I am more than just these things are few and far between. Especially when bigger crimes are happening AND the nation decides to protest police because of the actions of one bad apple. Not only am I not getting a break from handling all at home for at least a little bit when daddy walks through the door, but now lets add worry. anxiety, stress of my husband at work on top of it all. 

I'm officially done. I am wiped out. I am on empty. No matter how much I am reminded of the amazing things God is doing and will continue to do, I am just done.

I miss people. I miss hugs.  I miss park time. I miss watching my littles make friends. I miss going on adventures with my littles. I miss seeing peoples smiles. I miss getting dressed up for date night.(we did get 1 last week!) I miss just going to get ice cream with my family without having to think "do I need a mask? do my kids need masks?". If someone wants to tell me that masks are the new normal I might just have to punch them in the face and share that's my new normal. (okay, not really but it might make me feel better lol)

I guess the hardest part is as things are starting to open and get back to business, things involving children have not and probably won't for awhile. Children are messy, dirty, germy creatures. They are not going to wear masks. They are going to touch everyone and everything. The world doesn't know how to handle that which means they will be on lockdown even longer. Which means SAHMs will be on lockdown even longer. 

So where do we go? How do I find that balance again of enjoying my children and keeping my sanity. Where can they run around safely and it be a mini mental break for mama? Or at least wear them out enough so they nap and give mama a mental break then. (Naptime has been a NIGHTMARE lately). 

And then guilt hits me. If I am feeling this way, how are all my other mamas doing? Why am I too concerned about myself to check in on them? Or anyone else? 

Today, I will be continually work on my kids being okay with playing with just one another instead of asking mama every 5 mins. Today I will try to do the things that need to get done while they are playing instead of hoping an praying for naptime. Today I am not cooking because I don't need to. Today I might actually reach out for help instead of waiting around for someone to offer it. Today I will open my Bible, turn on my music and keep listening to what God has for me. 

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. 

Psalm 23 1:5

The LORD is my shepherd; I have what I need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; he leads me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley. I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff- they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me , all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 

2020 Vision

Since it is the theme of EVERYTHING, might as well use it too. But to have a clear vision, we must first look back.
2019- If you ask me, this year was probably one of the biggest growth years our family has had. The stress it was to get through our first year with 2 kids was so much on me personally and our marriage in 2018 that 2019 meant we got to reconnect and rebalance our family. The decision to change churches was also a huge step that created so much joy and peace throughout the year as well. And I got to focus and figure out myself and reconnect my personal faith again. God showed us to much grace and love this last year and I am hoping it with just grow from here.

So what does 2020 look like for this CHP family?
I’m hoping it looks like my husband getting to venture into new avenues in the department and new trainings because this is a great time for him to do so. If your husband has opportunities to add to his resume, make sure you can support him in those as much as possible! For a family in so cal, him doing trainings up north isn’t always ideal but they can be great connections made, ideas learned and even fun family adventures if you have the means to do that with him.

For our family?
I am hoping to get more organized with the idea of homeschooling these littles one day. By starting now with toddler activities and preschool lessons to get my head wrapped around what it would look like.
Maybe a move? Maybe a remodel? Maybe an addition? (In more ways than one) Only God knows those answers but we are opening our hearts and minds for what He does have planned for us this year and going to take it day by day, step by step knowing He has the best plans laid out for us if we just continue to walk with Him. Trusting he has made us just for this journey.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭CSB‬‬

So here is to 2020! May it be a blessed one for you and yours!

Choosing Joy

Lets just put it all out there... the life of an officer's wife can been stressful enough. Now let's add 2 under 2 (graduate) to the mix and take away an income. I have every right to be stressed out, wigged out crazy most days. 

But I have even more of an obligation to choose to be joyful instead! Just so you know my favorite band is For King and Country and their song “Joy” is totally the inspiration I get for this.

You see, I am a planner. I love my calendar app. I like having a daily schedule. I like to be organized. Everything has a place. But as an officer's wife plans can change in an instant (or just being married to my husband can do that too, sorry babe lol) God knows that kids don't believe in schedules and to top it off they are a GIANT mess, especially 2 toddlers. 

I was noticing that I was being really harsh with my husband and my kids when I really didn't need to be. I was closing myself off from them too so I could "take a break" (check fb/play a phone game/stupid stuff) so I could be ready to handle them. 

I like to laugh with God when I think about where I am in life right now. Good one buddy! You got me! Thanks for all the teachings hahaha now can I have my life back now...

That's not how it works, so I am (finally) choosing to really (and I mean really) just give it all up to God and go with the flow of the day (day by day) and choose to be happy with every situation that is thrown my way throughout the day. Some days are WAY harder than I think it should be while other days so me just how blessed to be in love with my best friend and have these 2 beautiful babies to teach and help grow to be amazing people. Most people don't live this but I do and I need to be grateful and show that daily. This doesn't mean I can't get upset, but I am not letting that upset ruin a whole day. 

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 ESV

I could go on and explain how my children really decided to test me last week and see if I could handle being joyful all day (insert my youngest screaming bloody murder as we walk into the happiest place on earth, all the way up till we get to the castle. Its Disneyland for heaven's sake! There's no crying at Disneyland!)

Below are a few verses I keep on my phone to read and pray on when I notice I am getting in a mood. Remember, this is a beautiful life we have been given! We get to choose how we feel about our situations and from now on I am choosing joy!

“In every situation take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”
Ephesians 6:16 CSB

“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 CSB

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
Romans 12:12 ESV

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
James 1:2-4 ESV

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

When life give you lemons

I have to say I live a pretty basic, normally, busy life. Not only being a CHP wife, a mom to be, part time high school teacher, Mary Kay beauty consultant, board member a chapter of Soroptimist International. I have a pretty good routine I am in too, especially with my husband still on desk duty (i'll explain later) but overall I think I handle it pretty well. Except for last week... last week, by Sunday I believe I was allowed to give up just for a little bit. I don't want to bore you guys with every last detail of it but to hit some major points

• Monday- left work computer at home so everything else that day just decided it didn't want to work. Seriously, every class had something wrong. 
• Tuesday- horrible indigestion and exhaustion... looks like 3rd trimester is welcoming me with all kinds of symptoms.
• Wednesday- We had an attempted suicide by a student, craziest thing I have ever been a part of
• Thursday- Glucose tolerance testing, no profit Mary Kay event.. just a long day
• Friday- meetings at work, trying to get a hold of someone to explain my glucose testing for like 2 hours
• Saturday- fun but not so profitable Mary Kay event, then my alternator in my car decided to die
• Sunday- my last living grandparent, my Dad's dad, passed away

So I am very happy it is Monday... new month... new week!

Back to my husbands hand now. We went back to the doctors about 2 weeks ago and they took off the cast! (Don't get excited yet) Did more x-rays only to find out it is still not healed. Back on a new cast goes. For another 4 weeks! We were told that the bone that is broken doesn't get great blood circulation which causes healing to be slower. :( But whatever needs to be done to get this healed properly. Again, his office has been so understanding, keeping him busy working with accident investigations which he is really enjoying. As much as it sucks that we ere hoping to rock some OT right now and have a nice chunk of change but aside for baby expenses, but that must not be God's plan. We are always able to save just on our paychecks anyway so maybe God is trying to get us to realize that we are just fine where we are. :)

So today I choose to be positive, like I did last week at least up until Sunday, and remember how blessed we are right now and take each day as it comes! :)

Everything is happening at once!

I just love my church. I just love that God always has whoever is preaching to say exactly what I need to hear! And I almost didn't go today because I didn't get much sleep last night but God got me up and I know why. Today's verses:

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

1 Peter 5:6-11 NIV

http://bible.com/111/1pe.5.6-11.niv

So there is a lot going on in life right now. Let's start with my husband. WE'RE GOING BACK TO A WATCH!!! 😄 tonight is actually his last C watch shift (at least for 3 month, or if he take OT) but I don't care. We can have dinner together again. I get to sleep again! Oh how I miss sleep when he is not here. I know he has had a lot of fun on C watch and he will be "low man" on A watch but I just need good sleep again, everyday! Lol Another thing is that he finished FTO (field training officer) training so he can officially train the new boots coming in, I think mid Oct too. And if so he is more than likely to get a training this first round because they normally train on A watch first. There could be some real fun stories coming soon. He is still training for motor as well but he seems a bit discouraged. I know he was saying the other day how he has his whole career to do motor. I just don't want him to not do it because he is scared. He is a perfectionist and he doesn't feel like he gets to train enough to actually go back to Sacramento and do the 2 week training/testing. Hopefully he finds his peace and can figure it out. I think FTO will be fun for him for now.

Now my life. Not only are we back in school with almost my part time schedule completely filled, it's time to get ready for the holidays with my business. Oh and did I mention that I am a in charge of a fundraiser this month for the non-profit I volunteer for. Sounds manageable right? This is where that verse was exactly what I needed to hear. I am always so anxious with so much going on. Learning to cast all that on Him and stand firm in my faith is so hard but so easy at the same time. 

Oh and did I forget to mention we are about a year and half into not being on birth control so that's getting a bit nerve racking. A little tired of peeing on a stick and seeing nothing. Oh yeah, and we are buying a house! Seriously? I spoke this one into existence. Like 6 months ago I was like "I swear if I am moving, pregnant, getting ready for holidays all during the month on October I am going to go nuts!" Be careful what you asks for right? 

And then I went to church today and heard this lovely message. 😊 Honestly, when I look at all that is going on in my life these are not sufferings, THESE ARE SO MANY BLESSINGS!!! So many people would kill to have a teaching job they love at a school they love, a business they love with customers that love them, being able to have the time to volunteer for a non-profit and help make a difference in the community, START A FAMILY, BUY A HOUSE! And all at the ripe age of 28. I mean when God makes it rain! But it's the devil that is trying to make me feel stressed, weak, anxious.... BUT I REFUSE! My students are awesome! My business is booming and I love every minute of it! This fundraiser is going to be better than the last one and done with complete freedom and ease! Our family will start just at the right time God has planned! The right house will be available to us at the right price and it will be perfect! I seriously am so humbled by all the blessing God keeps pouring down on us. I just want to be a example to others to show His amazing Glory and all that came come when you accept Christ and live the life he has planned for you! 

So breathe, pray, read His word and know that everything is going to be okay! 

Deaths, Births.... it's all a part of life...

These past 2 weeks has been challenging ones. In the matter of about 36 hours I had a friend of mine pas away suddenly and another friend bring her life into the world with her son. Talk about a roller coaster ride of emotions. 

This friend of mine was one of the sweetest guys I have ever had the privilege of getting to know. The hardest part for me was the last time  had a chance to really get to talk to him. We had meet about 5 years ago and hung out a lot over that first year or two. But like many friendship, life happens, we get busy and we don't make the same time for people. Every now and then we were comment on FB just to stay connected. The shock of his lost hit me like I had never felt before. But at the same time I had this very strange sense of peace


John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”



I know he had an amazing heart. I know that God had his own plans for us and honestly maybe he used this loss for many of us to open our eyes and remember what is important and to reconnect those of us who had become too busy. Either way he is a guy who will always be remembered and I know he is just smiling down on us for making sure we celebrated his life the way he wanted us to. 

The day after I found out about his death was probably the hardest because I had to just go on like nothing ever happened and my heart just wasn't ready yet. But when I was feeling my saddest, I got to see the best picture, my friend had just given birth to her amazing handsome new son. From a heart filled with sorrow to a heart so overfilled with love and excitement for this new chapter in their lives and to be so blessed to be sharing in their excitement.  

Romans 8:26-28 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 

These verses seemed to fit this whole ride all into a few verses. Weakness was the best way to put how I felt. Or maybe helpless. And I had no idea what to say to God. I was praying but I felt like all I could do was ask question after question waiting for answers. Here is that answer, Its all God's will. For me, maybe I needed to feel that loss to remember how amazing and blessed we are, especially when new life is brought. Holding that 6 day old little boy was one of the most amazing feelings! This little God given miracle, who knows what is in store for him, Knowing that God has a plan and we are to enjoy each and every day we are given because we have no idea when it is our time to be called back home. 

"Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth." 

I have no idea where this saying started or if that is even the right way to put it but they kept saying it at his celebration of life. This friend lived and loved like every day was his last. Maybe he knew something all of us didn't. Maybe I am over thinking all of it. But most of all I hope me being able to talk out all of these feelings helps someone else in the process of life and loss. We have an amazing God and we may not always understand all that is going on but He will always take us where we need to go. 

5 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight

What's next for me?

Okay so the first year is over and he is on to the next thing but what about me? Well, being 27, having a pretty successful business, a successful teacher career as well and a very happy and fulfilling marriage with an amazingly Godly man who just loves his career too. Everyone seems to think there is just one thing left to do... have babies!

I think I have been pulled into this trap of feeling so underachieving since we haven't yet. People keep asking about it... I even had 2 people at church touch my belly and start asking questions. Do I look pregnant? How is this okay??? This is seriously something I have no control over and there is so much expectation for it. Believe me if I could just snap my fingers and do it I would but God has his own plan. I don't know how to tell people to leave it alone until we say that it is time. All it seems to do is create this worry, anxiousness and inadequacy in me which is not good at all.

Yesterday I pretty much had an emotional breakdown about it all. I just started crying out of nowhere and couldn't stop it either. Completely freaking out my husband of course. We had such a great dinner and we get home and ready for bed when I just roll over and cry. I was just filled with so much emotion over "why is this not happening?" and "can I even handle it when the time come?" and so much more kept going through my head. After of 30 minutes of fighting my husband not wanting to talk about it, he just started praying over me. Seriously, there is nothing better in the world than having such an amazing man of God as my partner in life. And of course he said exactly what I needed to hear and that is when everything came out like a flood!

"Why is this taking so long?"
"What if something is wrong?"
"People have 'accidents' all the time, why is it when some try it takes forever?"
"Why can other people just get it right the first time?"
"What if I can't handle it?"
"Are we really ready?"
"Why do I want this so bad?"
"Why do I feel like God is playing with my emotions?"
"What else can we do?"
"Is there something I am missing?"

Being at peace with something you have no control over is probably the hardest things ever. But like I have said before I believe I am a strong woman of God. Most of the time I am at peace with all that is going on in life and can just go with the flow. But we are all human and my human side loves to remind me how crazy life can be and throw me into some awful emotional states. But one of my favorite verses that always plays in my head during those times is
Philippians 4:13 "I Can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

So today I decided to open up and read what leads up to this verse and God was really trying to show me peace...
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Wow! Being content is really where is all begins. If I am content with my family and my life the way it is, God will continue to bless me and my family. He hasn't failed me, what makes me worry like he would now?

So basically I hope someone learns something from all of this, other than just me of course, (Which this is amazing therapeutic! If you have never blogged yourself, you should try it. You can talk yourself through a lot and maybe help others too)
-If you know if a couple who is "trying" leave them alone about it. Stop asking. Stop bringing it up. When it happens, they will be more than happy to share the big news. I
-If you are going through it yourself, remember God has amazing plans for you and it is REALLY hard sometimes to just relax and enjoy the journey He has when you want something so exciting. Be happy, content and at peace about as much as you can.
-Its okay to be human and breakdown, just remember to fallback on the one who love you and can lead you back to your true peace in God. :)

2 down... On to week 3!

So this has been such a great weekend. I did end up taking the train up to Sacramento and got to spend the whole weekend helping John get things ready for week 3! What a blessing! We got to have such a nice, relaxing dinner together Friday night. Saturday we were up and working. After I made waffles for breakfast, we finished homework and t-shirt by noon. Then shopping for things he needed for the next week by 2. Then we studied like crazy for his 2 LD tests and spelling for next week while enjoying coffee at Starbucks. Btw it was raining like crazy, even got some thunder on Saturday. But anything to help my love follow his dream! Once he felt good about all the information we called it a night and just got to enjoy spending time together. We watched a movie (thanks to Netflix that my aunt has), enjoyed in n out, FaceTime with Johns family, then another movie. It has really been a huge blessing to be at my aunt and uncles house instead of hotel! So grateful for family! This morning we decided McDs breakfast would be good. Then it was laundry, packing everything up (while calling out penal codes and spelling words of course), buzzing his head and once he is done with his shower we will have about 3 hours left to spend this weekend. Sad but so glad I got to come up and spend time with him, helping him study and get things ready for the next week. Even though we both have a bit anxiety about the next week, he is in much better spirits to keep on going! But since he is here I thought it would be nice for him to get to say something here too! So here he is...

Having jenn here with me has has helped me to unwind and helped me to relax. Last weekend I had to take care of so many chores and tasks it made my head spin! This weekend Jenn was here to help me get everything squared away and ready for the next week, god has blessed me so much to have such a supportive woman in my life! There is no way I could do this without her! I may be the one physically bearing the workload of the academy, but Jenn is there by my side supporting me spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Without her I would not have the strength to continue to push for success. She is my why and the reason I continue on this journey. Everyday when I wake up I remember to remain humble, thanking God for his many blessings in my life. The academy may be difficult, but it is a privilege and an honor to even wear cadet Blues. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers, you keep me uplifted and motivated! 

Week 2 day 1- no fat table!

So today they measured the body fat percentage of the cadets. John thought for sure he was going to be on the fat table. When they are on the fat table they have to keep track of everything they eat. So basically it's just more work. But thank God he is not!!! Anyway, he had a really hard day today. He said it was his hardest so far. Even made him really have to think why he is doing this... Gosh that is so hard for me. I just want him home. I just want him happy. I hate having to hear him so stresses out and with so much anxiety. And I cant do anything about it! Well I can do one thing, pray, and I know that's a lot but i just want to do so much more!!! 

He was worried about the wedding today. He is worried that he won't get the weekend off. So I may be changing the date here. I am going to give the venue a call to see if there is anything we can do. who knows. I just want to do anything and everything I can do to make sure he does not have any added stress on him. So keep an ear open for that...

They had 2 more people quit today. Down from 143 to 140. But we can get through this. He said he's not leaving till he graduates or they kick him out. What's funny is we thought that PT would be the one thing that really kicked his butt and he said that is just fine. He had a test today. He's pretty sure he passed. But he has another one tomorrow he was going to study for before he went to bed. So I guess once again all I can say is PRAY. Pray for his peace! Pray that his spirit is lifted and he is encouraged everyday. Just pray!

Week 1 done! On to week 2!

If you want to see some photos of John follow CHP recruiting on FB and they have a photo album of his class CTC II-13. See if you can find him in the pictures. :)

So Friday was the end of week 1! They did lose someone. Someone quit they think because of an injury prior to coming that was hurting too much for PT. But we will see how many they really lose when everyone comes back tonight. It's harder to quit and leave than it is to just not go back. But anyway, John said it took like 2 hours to leave the academy grounds on Friday night. They were testing the cadets leaving, asking about certain codes. If they didn't know the answer they would send them to the back of the line. But by the time John got close they decided it was taking too long and just let them go. So he stayed the weekend at my aunt and uncles house, who were out of town so he got some quiet time althought I think he would have liked to have some social interaction with people. He spent most of Saturday shopping for all the stuff he needed for the next week and making his stenciled and shirts for PT. Sunday was pretty much the same too. We got to FaceTime!

It was good to see him. I felt bad though because he said he called his bunk mates and they were hangout with their girlfriends and all he got to do was FaceTime hangout with me. I really wish I could have been there to help him get all the things he needed and help him make his shirts so he didn't struggle so much but I know all of this will make him stronger. But it was a lot of work he had to get done and didn't have anyone to work with him like most of the other cadets did. He is also someone who over analyzes and over thinks things so he messed up on like 4 shirts (letters weren't big enough, worth what he wasn't suppose to, ect.), and his homework assignment (last time I checked) he had to redo 4 times. (Wasn't straight, missed spelled words, etc.) So here goes to week 2!!! PRAY, PRAY PRAY!!! Pray he just focuses, listens and gets things done with ease!

As for me, I enjoyed my cousins wedding on Friday, which was so much fun! Loved it! Athough before i left for San Diego, my car freaked out after my Mary Kay deliveries. At least I have an awesome future father in law that has a tire shop and could get DeDe all up and going again! Got all my teachings things ready for next week on Saturday, while FaceTiming John all day and then on Sunday I got to see a vision I had when I first starting learning ASL come to life with our first Deaf Awareness Day. Here's to another great week of teaching and a thriving Mary Kay business week!

Day 2! He's alive!

He called! Only got to talk for about 3 minutes. He sounded exhausted. He said "I love you" like 5 times. I asked him how he was doing and he said "if I said good I would be lying". Awww! I wish there was something more I can do. He said that he thinks the officers are mad at them so tomorrow will not be good. :/  But the one thing he did say was to pray for him. So EVERYONE PRAY FOR HIM!!! This is the hardest thing he will ever have to do but it's for his dream! 

So while I keep praying, I am just trying to keep as busy as possible. Today was a full day for training for my ASL teaching job, then my 3 ASL tutoring sessions, a MK delivery and then home. Then even at home I wanted a distraction so I went next door to play kinect to get moving. Tomorrow will be Zumba on the morning, MK delivery, teaching 3 ASL students and soroptimist. I want to do as much as I can while he is gone so that when he comes back in March I get to spend as much time with him as I want! 

So please keep the prayer coming! One day at a time :)

One of my devotionals was perfect for today...

MARKED MOMENTS 

Before the foundation of the world, God laid out a plan for your life. He created you with a purpose, for a purpose, and He created you to be successful! He has marked moments already laid out that are going to come across your path. These moments are not ordinary. They are destiny-altering moments. They are designed to thrust you years ahead. 

Ecclesiastes tells us that time and chance come together for every person. That means you will have opportunities to meet the right people, opportunities to advance in your career, and opportunities to fulfill your dreams. God has already prearranged for you times of increase, promotion and blessing. 

Today, open your eyes of faith and see the good things God has in store for your future. Thank Him for what He’s doing and what He’s about to do. Thank Him for divine connections and marked moments because He is ready and willing to fulfill every dream and desire He’s placed within your heart! 

Prayer: 
Heavenly Father, thank You for marked moments and divine opportunities in my life. I trust that You are working behind the scenes no matter what the circumstances look like. I choose today to keep my heart and mind focused on Your goodness, knowing that You are a rewarder of those who diligently seek after You in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Day 1... Let it begin!

I have to admit I am quite proud of myself for not having a complete meltdown this morning seeing John drive off to the CHP academy! I mean of course I was crying, I'm not going to see him for 75 days which will be our wedding day (hopefully). But it finally has started! Everything we have been praying for and waiting for has come together today. I was hoping to head from him tonight but doesn't look like it. I told him he didn't have to worry about calling me till later in the week that way he could focus. So here is to the first day finished! Hope all went well!

I have to say I am so grateful to the amazing families we both have! The support from everyone is just beyond amazing from our friends too. I love hearing that everyone is praying for him and I through these next 6 months. Guess the next time I post will be when I hear from him! Keep praying! It's just the beginning :)