Proverbs 31 LEO wife

What a week to decide to have a mindset shift!

Let me start off by saying, C watch families are some strong families!

This past week, command has been hard on my husband about a big case he picked up last year that has still been hanging over his head. All of a sudden it is "why isn't this finished". 🙄 I'm not even going to get into the fact that he shouldn't have had the main handle on this case in the first place. Anyway, a deadline was given and OT was agreed on so basically my husband has been working 7-5, dinner and play with kids till bed time, back to work till about midnight- 1am, all week. Actually, tonight they just decided to stay at work and power through as long as they can.

Now, last week me would be pissed. Last week me would have been exhausted. She would have been angry with the command. She would have been annoyed with her husband leaving her all alone with the kids. Last week, I wouldn't have been able to sleep without him next to me. Last week me probably would have lost it at some point.

But, thankfully, God prepared me, prepared my heart and my mind for this.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
¹² She rewards him with good, not evil,
all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:11-12 (CSB)

Being an understanding, supportive wife is so much more as a LEO wife. We are honestly at the mercy of job. When duty calls, we must have their backs. We must not make home life more stressful because we are upset with what is going on at work. And I am not saying that it easy by any means! Daily I am frustrated with the stories my husband comes home with. But my job isn't to fix that. Its to find what my husband needs from me to make it through that and be the best support possible!

And this CHP family life is not that bad people. They make decent money. Enough for us to live on just his income with 2 kids and a morgage, and honestly then some. My job is to raise amazing little humans, which consist of Disneyland trips, library storytimes, children church gatherings, playdates, mom group, time with grammy and papa... all while he is working. Of course there are the tantrums,
fighting, screaming, misbehaving, not eating but God created me to handle all of that, and honestly then some. This life may not be easy but oh is it worth every minute of it!

So tonight I am grateful for a husband that followed his dream to the CHP and provides this family with a life I could only have dreamed of. I know he may have to miss out on a few things here and there to provide it but it will never go unnoticed. It will never be unappreciated. We will keep creating as many amazing memories as we can to make sure daddy is always a part of them. ❤

Surround yourself with Gratefulness

As we head into the holidays, it always is a hard time for some and a joyous time for others. I like to remind myself (and others, if I can) that whatever we surround ourselves with is what we will be. The people we are around, the topics we discuss, the music we listen to, the tv we watch, the books we read. Raising little humans with a LEO can put me in a very negative spot by the end of the day. Like my husband being “on call” because California is up in flames and they may need him somewhere. Or getting court on a day off that you have had something special planned for like a month. My child(ren) can go all day misbehaving, not listening to a single thing I have to say. My husband can have a rough day of feeling inadequate and unappreciated. I am just suppose to hold it all together for them.  But you know what, most days I can because I prepare myself to do just that.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray continually, ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I find myself in my Bible more and more. Reading/listening to more books/podcast about the Bible and living a Christian life. The music that is on is either Christian or Country (really what's the difference lol). The news is the last thing I watch. I have to have my head and my heart in the right place to be the Christ-driven mom and the wife I need to be for my family

Now by all means I am far, far, FAR from perfect! But I have so much to be grateful for that I want to make sure I am living a life worthy of what I have been given. And with life's daily struggles we can get caught up in, it can be very hard to get ourselves out and remember just how truly blessed we are.

So here is what I am going to do. I am starting a gratitude journal so that every night I can remember just how much God is blessing over this family for the next 30 days and hopefully from there on out. So I want to challenge you to do the same! Now I am a very visual person so I search online and found a great 30 prompting I can follow the next month. I found this one at Picking Daisies Blog

Hopefully by Dec 1st I can share the difference it has made for me and my family these next 30 days.

About last night

Last night my husband got out his class A uniform, made sure his brass was shined enough, extra shined his boots, grabbed his nice hat put it all together for today. This is done when something really good has happened or really bad... unfortunately, he is on his way to a CHP officers memorial.

Last week, while doing a routine traffic stop, a motor officer was shot to death in a crazy freeway shootout. 2 other officers were wounded. If you didn't notice, the word ROUTINE was used. Driver broke a law, officer pulled him over, ran his information and decided the proper action for situation. While the officer was filling out paperwork, the suspect decided he didn't like the outcome and pulled a gun. (that he didn't get legally of course, in case any was wondering 🙄)

It was the first time I was on edge about learning more about the situation and the officers involved. It was the first time my heart sank that maybe it could be someone we know. It was the first time I felt the need to reach out to other wives and make sure everyone else was okay. It was way too close to home.

Last night my husband probably didn't even notice that I was quiet because it was one of the first times I was actually hurting and a bit scared about this job. I am really big on being a strong, supportive LEO wife. I knew what my husband was getting into when he signed up. I knew what I was getting into by marrying him still. So supportive I will always be. Choosing faith over fear is what I always do. But last night, I'm quiet. Last night, I had a pain in stomach and couldn't sleep. Last night, I tried not to cry knowing another wife is having to say goodbye to her husband of only a short time all because some guy didn't like him doing his job.  Last night, my heart truly felt the heaviness of this thin blue line.

Now, of course, this doesn't mean my thoughts of what it means to be a LEO wife have changed. But accepting these thoughts, these feelings and going through them are good. I'm human, and I can't let my emotions get the best of me but I can feel them and I can find the guidance I need to work through them.

Psalm 91

¹ Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.
³ For he will rescue you from every trap
    and protect you from deadly disease.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.
    He will shelter you with his wings.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
⁵ Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies in the day.
⁶ Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
    nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side,
    though ten thousand are dying around you,
    these evils will not touch you.
⁸ Just open your eyes,
    and see how the wicked are punished.

⁹ If you make the Lord your refuge,
    if you make the Most High your shelter,
¹⁰ no evil will conquer you;
    no plague will come near your home.
¹¹ For he will order his angels
    to protect you wherever you go.
¹² They will hold you up with their hands
    so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
¹³ You will trample upon lions and cobras;
    you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

¹⁴ The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
    I will protect those who trust in my name.
¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue and honor them.
¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life
    and give them my salvation.”

So tonight I will laugh with him a little more, hug him a little tighter, kiss a littler longer, and hold on to what we have now. Reality may be setting in but our faith will always get us through it.

Choosing Joy

Lets just put it all out there... the life of an officer's wife can been stressful enough. Now let's add 2 under 2 (graduate) to the mix and take away an income. I have every right to be stressed out, wigged out crazy most days. 

But I have even more of an obligation to choose to be joyful instead! Just so you know my favorite band is For King and Country and their song “Joy” is totally the inspiration I get for this.

You see, I am a planner. I love my calendar app. I like having a daily schedule. I like to be organized. Everything has a place. But as an officer's wife plans can change in an instant (or just being married to my husband can do that too, sorry babe lol) God knows that kids don't believe in schedules and to top it off they are a GIANT mess, especially 2 toddlers. 

I was noticing that I was being really harsh with my husband and my kids when I really didn't need to be. I was closing myself off from them too so I could "take a break" (check fb/play a phone game/stupid stuff) so I could be ready to handle them. 

I like to laugh with God when I think about where I am in life right now. Good one buddy! You got me! Thanks for all the teachings hahaha now can I have my life back now...

That's not how it works, so I am (finally) choosing to really (and I mean really) just give it all up to God and go with the flow of the day (day by day) and choose to be happy with every situation that is thrown my way throughout the day. Some days are WAY harder than I think it should be while other days so me just how blessed to be in love with my best friend and have these 2 beautiful babies to teach and help grow to be amazing people. Most people don't live this but I do and I need to be grateful and show that daily. This doesn't mean I can't get upset, but I am not letting that upset ruin a whole day. 

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 ESV

I could go on and explain how my children really decided to test me last week and see if I could handle being joyful all day (insert my youngest screaming bloody murder as we walk into the happiest place on earth, all the way up till we get to the castle. Its Disneyland for heaven's sake! There's no crying at Disneyland!)

Below are a few verses I keep on my phone to read and pray on when I notice I am getting in a mood. Remember, this is a beautiful life we have been given! We get to choose how we feel about our situations and from now on I am choosing joy!

“In every situation take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”
Ephesians 6:16 CSB

“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 CSB

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
Romans 12:12 ESV

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
James 1:2-4 ESV

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

Lets talk money!

Something that I feel I see A LOT on social media is how people are just waiting for pay day, especially in the LEO world. My husband gets paid once a money so, honestly, we have to be smart about how we manage our money to make sure it last all month long. The thing that gets me is that we have never had a problem living on just his income. When we got married and we discussed our finances, we decided we would "live" on his paycheck and whatever I brought in would be our family fun money (basically just extra). And we chose to live like that from day 1 so every time he got a raise (they get a raise the first 3 years I think 🤔) we would act like it wasn't there and put it away. Then child #1 came and we were still doing good. The child #2 came and we decided I should stay home and I got really scared really quick! But after a year of it we have done just fine once again and I would say even better now that I am learning how to save here and there and that is what I want to share today. 

We pretty much put $500-1000 into our savings every month, just on his income alone! I know things will change as the kids get older and do more things but I don't think it should be as stressful as "eating top ramen" for the last few days of the month. Now I am no financial person but I know how to handle my money and handle it well enough to have our fun but make sure we don't go into debt doing it. So here are a few tips...

1. TITHE!!! Give back what God has given you. All He asks for is 10%. This was the hardest thing me first because I always felt like "well I need that money for x,y,z…" but once I truly let go and let God by thanking Him for what we were blessed with it has always felt like an abundance. 
2. "Live" paycheck to paycheck. Now what I mean by this is the moment the paycheck comes in, I put whatever was left in the checking account into the savings account. We live on what he brings in a month. If we need to do any big purchases or tap into that we can of course but I am not going to keep it in the checking for us to see "oh we have plenty of money, lets splurge". It makes us more conscious of our monthly spending.
3. Know your monthly expenses. Mortgage, gas/water/electric/trash bills, cell phone, internet/cable, IRAs/529 plans, and whatever else you pay for monthly should be mapped out so you know how much you have left for groceries, date nights, outings, shopping, etc. 
4. Grocery shopping online. Now this may not work for everyone but it has been HUGE for us. Pavilions (vons, safeway, Albertsons) has delivery. Your first delivery is FREE and $20 off of $100! After that, I get that same coupon every other week if not every week. This makes things so easy for me. the past 2 months I have spent about $200-225 for the month on groceries! and we pretty much eat at home every night. Not bad for a family of 4. 
5. Money back apps! There are so many ways to get money back from doing shopping you are already doing. It may not be much sometimes, but its better than nothing. I use it to pay for my Starbucks, Amazon, and Stitch Fix habit lol. Here are a few I love and use regularly. Ebates for shopping all different stores online and in store for a few places too. They even have money back for my online grocery shopping! Ibotta also online shopping but more in store options for specific brands. Checkout 51 Fetch rewards Dosh

And always, always, ALWAYS be honest with the spending. People think it is weird that my husband and I ask before even spending like $30-$50 on something for ourselves or the house. We are open and honest about our spending and just want the other to know it. It’s even more of a game when your savers like us and it’s like “guess the deal I just found on xyz...”. In this life as  LEO family, there is so much you can be stressed out about, money shouldn’t be one of them.

““Therefore I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:25‬ ‭CSB‬‬

5 years down!

How has it been almost another year since I have been able to sit down and write???

HOW HAS 5 YEARS GONE BY SINCE MY HUSBAND GRADUATED THE ACADEMY???

This past year has been big in giving me insight for the future. I really want to focus myself and my family on what is important and that's God and each other. Maybe its all the negativity in the world or just all that is shared in the media and social media, but I want everything I say and do to be making people better/happy/inspired/encouraged. I also want to share God's word more and have more confidence in what I am sharing. So hopefully I will have more time to share how this CHP wife and SAHM mom of 2 really looks when you live a life truly of Faith over Fear.

It's almost been a year since my husband has moved to an office position and I LOVE IT! I am a very schedule/organized person. Now that my husbands schedule is consistent, I can plan dinner (almost) every night, outings over his weekend, DATE NIGHTS! This is also really great the little ones because they know daddy will be home for dinner (for the most part). They know daddy will play with them over the weekend. I really hope that through the negotiations (that will hopefully start again soon) they can come up with something that helps create consistency for all officers. It can honestly be a 180 for a family if they can make it work.

But lets go back to the idea of date night for today. Especially with having 2 little ones, I noticed that we were not focused on us. I mean why do new need to be? We are married. I already got him, right? 😉 I mean we are both exhausted from the day (between work and the kids). Not having the energy for each other is understandable. But its not okay and I was really feeling it and I know he was too. So for Valentines day I bought us some reading lol. It's called Fierce Marriage and they also wrote 2 "devotional" type books call Husband/Wife in Pursuit (perfect title for a LEO couple huh, even though it has nothing to do with that). This is probably one of the best things we have done for our marriage. Now you don't have to be "falling apart" to decided to do something like this. We have a pretty strong marriage. We just have been getting caught up in everything else that we were forgetting about the other which is so easy to do, especially in his line of work. Finding the balance of letting him have his time to wind down from work and being there for me and the kids is hard. So we started reading these devotional and we actually had to stop on day 10 of 31 because we were spending so much focus on each other it was a little exhausting lol. But just in those 10 days it refocused us back on each other and what the other one does ourselves, for our family and our walk with Christ. Even though I am almost always a crazy ball of hormones thanks to birth control it feels like, we have a lot more understanding and patience with each other and spending that time we need too with each other. Again, we are not perfect, nor will we ever be but we sure can strive to be a better couple pursuing one another while we pursue God more.

1 John 4:18 ¹⁸There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

So don't forget to keep dating! There is no reason that this profession should have a higher divorce rate if we are both in it for the long haul, able and willing to purse one another!