This friend of mine was one of the sweetest guys I have ever had the privilege of getting to know. The hardest part for me was the last time had a chance to really get to talk to him. We had meet about 5 years ago and hung out a lot over that first year or two. But like many friendship, life happens, we get busy and we don't make the same time for people. Every now and then we were comment on FB just to stay connected. The shock of his lost hit me like I had never felt before. But at the same time I had this very strange sense of peace
John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”
I know he had an amazing heart. I know that God had his own plans for us and honestly maybe he used this loss for many of us to open our eyes and remember what is important and to reconnect those of us who had become too busy. Either way he is a guy who will always be remembered and I know he is just smiling down on us for making sure we celebrated his life the way he wanted us to.
The day after I found out about his death was probably the hardest because I had to just go on like nothing ever happened and my heart just wasn't ready yet. But when I was feeling my saddest, I got to see the best picture, my friend had just given birth to her amazing handsome new son. From a heart filled with sorrow to a heart so overfilled with love and excitement for this new chapter in their lives and to be so blessed to be sharing in their excitement.
Romans 8:26-28 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.
These verses seemed to fit this whole ride all into a few verses. Weakness was the best way to put how I felt. Or maybe helpless. And I had no idea what to say to God. I was praying but I felt like all I could do was ask question after question waiting for answers. Here is that answer, Its all God's will. For me, maybe I needed to feel that loss to remember how amazing and blessed we are, especially when new life is brought. Holding that 6 day old little boy was one of the most amazing feelings! This little God given miracle, who knows what is in store for him, Knowing that God has a plan and we are to enjoy each and every day we are given because we have no idea when it is our time to be called back home. "Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth."
I have no idea where this saying started or if that is even the right way to put it but they kept saying it at his celebration of life. This friend lived and loved like every day was his last. Maybe he knew something all of us didn't. Maybe I am over thinking all of it. But most of all I hope me being able to talk out all of these feelings helps someone else in the process of life and loss. We have an amazing God and we may not always understand all that is going on but He will always take us where we need to go.
5
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your
heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will
make your paths straight
