This past month has been crazy! My husband is an FTO (field training officer) and this past mo th he has had a phase 3 (month 3 on) trainee. Pretty sure I hate road life and/or FTO life now. I was thinking “third phase this should be good! He should have his shit together and be on top of stuff so that he can be ready to go out alone. Third phase should be awesome”. ABSOLUTELY WRONG! I’m pretty sure my husband worked 16 hour days 90% of the month! Meaning dinner? Just me and the kids. Bath time? Just me and the kids. Bed time? Just me and the kids! He was going days without seeing his kids. It has been insane! I have never wanted 8 hour shifts so bad before! Now I can get over it and do what needs to be done, and my daughter is too young to notice dad not around. But my son would just break my heart. Now he would act like he understood when I would say “sorry buddy daddy’s at work” but some nights he would just stand by the door and say “dada” over and over. Teaching your children this LEO life is harder than I thought it was going to be.
But with the bad, comes the good! There was an in office position opening up as all this was going on and my husband was interested. After a lot of discussion and prayer we decided it was worth applying for. The worst things were going with the trainee the better this position was looking. And thankfully he got an interview and even better the position! Shift work has been so much harder with 2 under 2 than I ever thought it was going to be. But this new office life hours should be nice! Knowing he will always be home at 4:45, always knowing he has weekends and holidays off. Being able to actually plan the next year will be amazing!
So I am feeling like my favorite verse goes perfect with this month.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Galatians 6:9 NIV
There are always going to be trails, but how we handle them to make it through is what makes the end even sweeter. God always has a great plan for us, we just have to keep moving forward and trusting in him.
Monday, May 21, 2018
Friday, March 30, 2018
Late night again
So with 2 under 2 now I rely on my husband more when he gets home from work. I try my best to time dinner accordingly, time for him and his boy to hangout before he goes to bed and then snuggles with his girl before she goes down. And maybe even a few moments just for us before starting all over again the next day. But being off on time is hardly a thing in this LA area office, that I’m use to, but getting the phone call “there has been a fatal in the area, don’t expect me tonight” are words that just suck all around.
I can get pissed off that I now have the whole day just me and the kids, even bath and bed tonight but what good does that do. And unfortunately someone out there just lost a family member. Others could be a part of this and have to live with taking a life. My husband is now exposed to an awful scene. Honestly the last thing I thought about when I got the call this time was me and the kids. That’s when you know you are a true LEO family. Dinner is already in the crockpot so it will be ready for him when he gets home. He may miss the kids tonight but there’s always FaceTime. My first thought was how awful for this family, especially Easter weekend.. How awful for the officer and first responders who have to go to this scene. Just get there, get to work and get home safe.
As a LEO family, we choose to support our LEO at all times. The things they see and deal with, many people wouldn’t be able to handle for longer than a week, if that. For them to know “don’t worry, I have it taken care of on the home front” is what makes their work lives easier. Right no he doesn’t need to focus on me and the kids. He needs to focus on this life lose and their family.
“"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 ESV
I feel comfort knowing my guy is out there to help comfort others. With God as our family foundation, he can help show a compassion to this situation not everyone can. And the more I can take care of everything at home, the more he gets to be that man of God in uniform.
So yes, the late night suck, but remember why he has those late nights and how you can help the situation. Don’t worry, he will repay you for your support and strength at home in the future. 😉
Monday, February 26, 2018
Faith over fear
I really wish I had more time to get to write here. But I really am going to try to make more of an effort.
Life update: our little family has grown and we now have a beautiful daughter! We are currently raising 2 under 2. Never thought I would say that but so far so good! I have stepped back from teaching to raise these amazing children (something I want to talk about later) but still do my at home beauty business because I need it for me and it’s good family fun money, everyone should have a side at home business!
Faith over Fear
Those are words I have strived for my whole life. I may not have lived in a bible quoting Christian family but my parents did teach me this and remind me all the time. This chapter in my life could have fear written all over it. So much hate is going towards law enforcement, raising 2 children under the age of 2 and still keeping my sanity, lol, choosing to live on one income. These are all things that would/could make people fearful everyday.
“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
Starting with the kids and the job. When I found out my little girl was on her way I was in a panic. I had my hands full with my son, how was I ever going to be able to handle 2! And with a job? I refuse to ask my parents or in laws to raise my kids. They raised us. Watching them occasionally, of course! They love it! But everyday? multiple times a week? No way. And there is also no way I would pay for child care. What’s the point of working if that’s all it is paying for? If we are going to have kids, we are going to raise them. If we can’t do that with both of us working, then it’s time for this momma to focus on the family. So not only am I freaking out about adding another, now I am going to leave my job, this program that I have built for 5 years, not knowing if I will ever be able to come back. Fear just overwhelmed me of being “stuck” at home. But God always knows what he is doing. And focusing on this verse and thinking of the positives all of this was going to bring. How powerful it will be to raise my kids myself. To have that impact on them. The love that is going to grow in this family by being able to strictly focus on my family. And teaching me self control when it comes to being a part of so many things outside my family. In today’s day, women are told they can do anything but because of this we do everything! I do believe that women can do anything but we don’t need to to it all. I was working (teaching & my business), I was volunteering, I was trying to be the perfect mom and wife and honestly pretty exhausted at everything. God brought my daughter into my life to refocus on what matters and help me find this self control.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
John 14:27 ESV
It has been a harder time that ever to be a LEO wife (spouse). There are people out there that just want to hurt my husband because of what he chooses to do for a live for his family. The idea is scary to think of, especially with 2 little ones now. As we have another fallen officer, I can’t help but think “what if” at times. How in the world would we manage? But I know that is just the devil getting into my head. God gave my husband this drive, this passion to be a CHP Officer. As his wife, I fully support him and his career. I more than support, I am so proud to be a LEO wife. He does what people wouldn’t dare to do. And I have peace that God is with him every time he puts on that uniform , puts on that badge, drives those roads. I cannot be afraid or I will never make it through this life. So I pray, I read, I study and I know God’s peace within as we go through this journey.
What got me to think through all this is a new shirt I bought on Southern Charm Designs. I absolutely love her stuff! She focuses on first responders designs so I have a few different Thin Blue Line things but this past purchase has been my favorite.
Everyone needs to check out her stuff and fall in love too!
Hope this encourages you today!
Life update: our little family has grown and we now have a beautiful daughter! We are currently raising 2 under 2. Never thought I would say that but so far so good! I have stepped back from teaching to raise these amazing children (something I want to talk about later) but still do my at home beauty business because I need it for me and it’s good family fun money, everyone should have a side at home business!
Faith over Fear
Those are words I have strived for my whole life. I may not have lived in a bible quoting Christian family but my parents did teach me this and remind me all the time. This chapter in my life could have fear written all over it. So much hate is going towards law enforcement, raising 2 children under the age of 2 and still keeping my sanity, lol, choosing to live on one income. These are all things that would/could make people fearful everyday.
“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
Starting with the kids and the job. When I found out my little girl was on her way I was in a panic. I had my hands full with my son, how was I ever going to be able to handle 2! And with a job? I refuse to ask my parents or in laws to raise my kids. They raised us. Watching them occasionally, of course! They love it! But everyday? multiple times a week? No way. And there is also no way I would pay for child care. What’s the point of working if that’s all it is paying for? If we are going to have kids, we are going to raise them. If we can’t do that with both of us working, then it’s time for this momma to focus on the family. So not only am I freaking out about adding another, now I am going to leave my job, this program that I have built for 5 years, not knowing if I will ever be able to come back. Fear just overwhelmed me of being “stuck” at home. But God always knows what he is doing. And focusing on this verse and thinking of the positives all of this was going to bring. How powerful it will be to raise my kids myself. To have that impact on them. The love that is going to grow in this family by being able to strictly focus on my family. And teaching me self control when it comes to being a part of so many things outside my family. In today’s day, women are told they can do anything but because of this we do everything! I do believe that women can do anything but we don’t need to to it all. I was working (teaching & my business), I was volunteering, I was trying to be the perfect mom and wife and honestly pretty exhausted at everything. God brought my daughter into my life to refocus on what matters and help me find this self control.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
John 14:27 ESV
It has been a harder time that ever to be a LEO wife (spouse). There are people out there that just want to hurt my husband because of what he chooses to do for a live for his family. The idea is scary to think of, especially with 2 little ones now. As we have another fallen officer, I can’t help but think “what if” at times. How in the world would we manage? But I know that is just the devil getting into my head. God gave my husband this drive, this passion to be a CHP Officer. As his wife, I fully support him and his career. I more than support, I am so proud to be a LEO wife. He does what people wouldn’t dare to do. And I have peace that God is with him every time he puts on that uniform , puts on that badge, drives those roads. I cannot be afraid or I will never make it through this life. So I pray, I read, I study and I know God’s peace within as we go through this journey.
What got me to think through all this is a new shirt I bought on Southern Charm Designs. I absolutely love her stuff! She focuses on first responders designs so I have a few different Thin Blue Line things but this past purchase has been my favorite.
Everyone needs to check out her stuff and fall in love too!
Hope this encourages you today!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)