So it seems like life is throwing a few curve balls our way lately...
1. The surprise of our daughter coming this December.
2. CHP getting rid of 12 hour shifts as of Jan 1, 2018, and the state only allowing 8 or 9 hour shifts till they can figure out this 10 hour thing.
If it was just one or the other I think I would be able to manage a lot better but both at the same time is really making things hard! I currently work as a part time high school teacher. It is awesome! I only work 2x a week and I get to do what I love (outside from being a wife and mom of course). This works perfect with my husbands schedule. Hes on 3, off 4 or on 4 off 3 and we just make sure that days he has off are the days I teach. Perfect right?
Now I knew I was going to take 6 months off when my daughter is born. Taking care of 2 under 2 does not sound easy and I want to get as adjusted as I can. But now with the changes I feel like life after Jan 1st is completely up in the air. If his office is going to 8 hours, that means working 5 days a week. There is no way I will be able to work. I am not sending my kids to day care just so I can pay for it teaching. That makes no sense. And honestly my husband and I already decided that we wanted to raise our children. We are blessed to live perfectly comfortable on his income that there is no reason we should be having someone else influence our children so early on. But I am so torn! I love being mommy! It is really the best feeling in the world but it really is the hardest job ever. Being a teacher gives me a break from mom to remember I am something else. Although my commute is awful, its a really great feeling. The idea of not coming back to it for longer than 6 months has me feeling so stuck.
Maybe it is because so much is still all up in the air with them trying to decide if they are really going to let them do 10s and if my husbands office is going to choose that too. I just really wish someone would make a decision already so I can move forward with things! I am such a planner and life after Jan 1st so not decided and it's making me crazy!
So I keep trying to recite this verse in my head
Jeremiah 29:11 11For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I know that God has great plans for this family, and for me specifically. I just have to be all trusting in what lies ahead knowing that He has it. Actually, yesterday my pastor was talking about this too and used the analogy of a parade. When you are there you only see float by float but God is overhead and can see the whole things and knows exactly what you are in for. Thought this was such a great visual. I have to stay excited for the next float that is coming our way. This float has been great but what could be next?
Showing posts with label teacher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teacher. Show all posts
Monday, September 25, 2017
Sunday, July 16, 2017
The American Dream
So I want to get back to writing again. I have seen so many complain about the life of a LEO wife/family and I find it quite annoying. LOL Yes this life has many ups and downs. But the one thing I always go back to is I chose this life just as much as he did. I knew my husband wanted to be an officer of some kind when we were dating many years ago. So it wasn't a surprise when he got into the CHP. I knew what we were getting into. I knew it wasn't going to be all roses and rainbows. I knew he would miss holidays and family events. I knew that he could get called to court with days notice. I knew he wasn't going to be off work right on time after every shift. I'm not saying it's easy, AT ALL, but I'm saying I knew what to expect (somewhat) before he accepted the position and we said "I do". If I was not willing to do this life, I would have walked away but I love my husband and was ready for the journey God had for us and our family. So I really hate to say it but "suck it up buttercup!" It's a journey that will have you laughing, crying, screaming, and loving every step of the way.
So I want to continue this blog to share our ups and downs and share that we are getting through it. And even better we are thriving through it. So it's been a year since I have written anything and life is really crazy beautiful! We now have an adorable 11 month old son, W, who has just changed our world for the better. But even more now, we are 17 weeks pregnant with our 2nd!!! It took so long for us to get pregnant with W I never imagined God would bless us with another one so quickly! We are so excited for our little Christmas miracle coming. So here we are, the Officer and the Teacher, almost 2 kids, a cat & dog, homeowners, almost debt free from college... seriously the American Dream. I hate to say that sometimes but then again we have worked hard to get where we are and are trusting and praising God every step of the way! This LEO family life has blessed us so much to be where we are. Again, not saying I am not pissed when he gets a late accident and I am doing dinner, playtime, bathtime and bed all on my own while pregnant. But when he does get off on time and walks through that door safely another day and W yells "dads" with a huge smile on his face, every bit of the downs are 100% worth it! So stay positive, stay humble, stay happy even when it's hard because it will get better and it will be worth it!
Edited:
I wrote this before church this morning yet I felt like my pastor was speaking exactly how I was feeling about this! So here are my notes from service because it goes so well and having God's word through this life is exactly what we need!
So I want to continue this blog to share our ups and downs and share that we are getting through it. And even better we are thriving through it. So it's been a year since I have written anything and life is really crazy beautiful! We now have an adorable 11 month old son, W, who has just changed our world for the better. But even more now, we are 17 weeks pregnant with our 2nd!!! It took so long for us to get pregnant with W I never imagined God would bless us with another one so quickly! We are so excited for our little Christmas miracle coming. So here we are, the Officer and the Teacher, almost 2 kids, a cat & dog, homeowners, almost debt free from college... seriously the American Dream. I hate to say that sometimes but then again we have worked hard to get where we are and are trusting and praising God every step of the way! This LEO family life has blessed us so much to be where we are. Again, not saying I am not pissed when he gets a late accident and I am doing dinner, playtime, bathtime and bed all on my own while pregnant. But when he does get off on time and walks through that door safely another day and W yells "dads" with a huge smile on his face, every bit of the downs are 100% worth it! So stay positive, stay humble, stay happy even when it's hard because it will get better and it will be worth it!
Edited:
I wrote this before church this morning yet I felt like my pastor was speaking exactly how I was feeling about this! So here are my notes from service because it goes so well and having God's word through this life is exactly what we need!
Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
- Resilient people practice self control- 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV- “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Resilient people have a plan, and have a contingency plan... and so on. Get a grip, plan ahead and move on with their lives. Everything does not come easily! "I was not born with a silver spoon, but I had a spoon"- Pastor. You have to plug in to get it. The longer we push the limits, the stronger our faith becomes.
Monday, March 16, 2015
What's next for me?
Okay so the first year is over and he is on to the next thing but what about me? Well, being 27, having a pretty successful business, a successful teacher career as well and a very happy and fulfilling marriage with an amazingly Godly man who just loves his career too. Everyone seems to think there is just one thing left to do... have babies!
I think I have been pulled into this trap of feeling so underachieving since we haven't yet. People keep asking about it... I even had 2 people at church touch my belly and start asking questions. Do I look pregnant? How is this okay??? This is seriously something I have no control over and there is so much expectation for it. Believe me if I could just snap my fingers and do it I would but God has his own plan. I don't know how to tell people to leave it alone until we say that it is time. All it seems to do is create this worry, anxiousness and inadequacy in me which is not good at all.
Yesterday I pretty much had an emotional breakdown about it all. I just started crying out of nowhere and couldn't stop it either. Completely freaking out my husband of course. We had such a great dinner and we get home and ready for bed when I just roll over and cry. I was just filled with so much emotion over "why is this not happening?" and "can I even handle it when the time come?" and so much more kept going through my head. After of 30 minutes of fighting my husband not wanting to talk about it, he just started praying over me. Seriously, there is nothing better in the world than having such an amazing man of God as my partner in life. And of course he said exactly what I needed to hear and that is when everything came out like a flood!
"Why is this taking so long?"
"What if something is wrong?"
"People have 'accidents' all the time, why is it when some try it takes forever?"
"Why can other people just get it right the first time?"
"What if I can't handle it?"
"Are we really ready?"
"Why do I want this so bad?"
"Why do I feel like God is playing with my emotions?"
"What else can we do?"
"Is there something I am missing?"
Being at peace with something you have no control over is probably the hardest things ever. But like I have said before I believe I am a strong woman of God. Most of the time I am at peace with all that is going on in life and can just go with the flow. But we are all human and my human side loves to remind me how crazy life can be and throw me into some awful emotional states. But one of my favorite verses that always plays in my head during those times is
Philippians 4:13 "I Can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
So today I decided to open up and read what leads up to this verse and God was really trying to show me peace...
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Wow! Being content is really where is all begins. If I am content with my family and my life the way it is, God will continue to bless me and my family. He hasn't failed me, what makes me worry like he would now?
So basically I hope someone learns something from all of this, other than just me of course, (Which this is amazing therapeutic! If you have never blogged yourself, you should try it. You can talk yourself through a lot and maybe help others too)
-If you know if a couple who is "trying" leave them alone about it. Stop asking. Stop bringing it up. When it happens, they will be more than happy to share the big news. I
-If you are going through it yourself, remember God has amazing plans for you and it is REALLY hard sometimes to just relax and enjoy the journey He has when you want something so exciting. Be happy, content and at peace about as much as you can.
-Its okay to be human and breakdown, just remember to fallback on the one who love you and can lead you back to your true peace in God. :)
I think I have been pulled into this trap of feeling so underachieving since we haven't yet. People keep asking about it... I even had 2 people at church touch my belly and start asking questions. Do I look pregnant? How is this okay??? This is seriously something I have no control over and there is so much expectation for it. Believe me if I could just snap my fingers and do it I would but God has his own plan. I don't know how to tell people to leave it alone until we say that it is time. All it seems to do is create this worry, anxiousness and inadequacy in me which is not good at all.
Yesterday I pretty much had an emotional breakdown about it all. I just started crying out of nowhere and couldn't stop it either. Completely freaking out my husband of course. We had such a great dinner and we get home and ready for bed when I just roll over and cry. I was just filled with so much emotion over "why is this not happening?" and "can I even handle it when the time come?" and so much more kept going through my head. After of 30 minutes of fighting my husband not wanting to talk about it, he just started praying over me. Seriously, there is nothing better in the world than having such an amazing man of God as my partner in life. And of course he said exactly what I needed to hear and that is when everything came out like a flood!
"Why is this taking so long?"
"What if something is wrong?"
"People have 'accidents' all the time, why is it when some try it takes forever?"
"Why can other people just get it right the first time?"
"What if I can't handle it?"
"Are we really ready?"
"Why do I want this so bad?"
"Why do I feel like God is playing with my emotions?"
"What else can we do?"
"Is there something I am missing?"
Being at peace with something you have no control over is probably the hardest things ever. But like I have said before I believe I am a strong woman of God. Most of the time I am at peace with all that is going on in life and can just go with the flow. But we are all human and my human side loves to remind me how crazy life can be and throw me into some awful emotional states. But one of my favorite verses that always plays in my head during those times is
Philippians 4:13 "I Can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
So today I decided to open up and read what leads up to this verse and God was really trying to show me peace...
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Wow! Being content is really where is all begins. If I am content with my family and my life the way it is, God will continue to bless me and my family. He hasn't failed me, what makes me worry like he would now?
So basically I hope someone learns something from all of this, other than just me of course, (Which this is amazing therapeutic! If you have never blogged yourself, you should try it. You can talk yourself through a lot and maybe help others too)
-If you know if a couple who is "trying" leave them alone about it. Stop asking. Stop bringing it up. When it happens, they will be more than happy to share the big news. I
-If you are going through it yourself, remember God has amazing plans for you and it is REALLY hard sometimes to just relax and enjoy the journey He has when you want something so exciting. Be happy, content and at peace about as much as you can.
-Its okay to be human and breakdown, just remember to fallback on the one who love you and can lead you back to your true peace in God. :)
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Day 2! He's alive!
He called! Only got to talk for about 3 minutes. He sounded exhausted. He said "I love you" like 5 times. I asked him how he was doing and he said "if I said good I would be lying". Awww! I wish there was something more I can do. He said that he thinks the officers are mad at them so tomorrow will not be good. :/ But the one thing he did say was to pray for him. So EVERYONE PRAY FOR HIM!!! This is the hardest thing he will ever have to do but it's for his dream!
So while I keep praying, I am just trying to keep as busy as possible. Today was a full day for training for my ASL teaching job, then my 3 ASL tutoring sessions, a MK delivery and then home. Then even at home I wanted a distraction so I went next door to play kinect to get moving. Tomorrow will be Zumba on the morning, MK delivery, teaching 3 ASL students and soroptimist. I want to do as much as I can while he is gone so that when he comes back in March I get to spend as much time with him as I want!
So please keep the prayer coming! One day at a time :)
One of my devotionals was perfect for today...
MARKED MOMENTS
Before the foundation of the world, God laid out a plan for your life. He created you with a purpose, for a purpose, and He created you to be successful! He has marked moments already laid out that are going to come across your path. These moments are not ordinary. They are destiny-altering moments. They are designed to thrust you years ahead.
Ecclesiastes tells us that time and chance come together for every person. That means you will have opportunities to meet the right people, opportunities to advance in your career, and opportunities to fulfill your dreams. God has already prearranged for you times of increase, promotion and blessing.
Today, open your eyes of faith and see the good things God has in store for your future. Thank Him for what He’s doing and what He’s about to do. Thank Him for divine connections and marked moments because He is ready and willing to fulfill every dream and desire He’s placed within your heart!
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for marked moments and divine opportunities in my life. I trust that You are working behind the scenes no matter what the circumstances look like. I choose today to keep my heart and mind focused on Your goodness, knowing that You are a rewarder of those who diligently seek after You in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Before the foundation of the world, God laid out a plan for your life. He created you with a purpose, for a purpose, and He created you to be successful! He has marked moments already laid out that are going to come across your path. These moments are not ordinary. They are destiny-altering moments. They are designed to thrust you years ahead.
Ecclesiastes tells us that time and chance come together for every person. That means you will have opportunities to meet the right people, opportunities to advance in your career, and opportunities to fulfill your dreams. God has already prearranged for you times of increase, promotion and blessing.
Today, open your eyes of faith and see the good things God has in store for your future. Thank Him for what He’s doing and what He’s about to do. Thank Him for divine connections and marked moments because He is ready and willing to fulfill every dream and desire He’s placed within your heart!
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for marked moments and divine opportunities in my life. I trust that You are working behind the scenes no matter what the circumstances look like. I choose today to keep my heart and mind focused on Your goodness, knowing that You are a rewarder of those who diligently seek after You in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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