A full year as an officer... so far a success!

I read this article the other day (8 tips for being a successful police family) and it made me what to share my opinion about everything they said and how we have decided on these topics. In just 10 short days my DH will officially be an officer for a full year! It really is crazy how time flies! and how much things can change in just a year. So here is their list and how I have related that to our lives this past year.

1. Talk about how much you want to share about the job

We have really had to work through this one. I have heard many different things from many different families and I wanted to be the most supportive wife I could be but I also have to think about my head/heart too. For the most part I let my husband share as much as he wants. He loves calling me on his way home from work and sharing all his stories with me. Even some that I wish he wouldn't and when they go a little far for me I just let him know so he can make a mental note about it. The one things I do have him keep to himself these days is his motor training. Becoming a motor officer is a great privilege and I am very excited about him doing this but at the same time I am a bit scared to death! So I have shared that while he is in training for it I don't want to know. When he passes all the test to actually become a motor officer then I will be more open to hearing motor stories, hopefully. :)

2. Discuss with whom you will share the knowledge of his/her police status

Now this is a topic we have been trying to figure out still. When he first got home last year, we had decided that only family, church family and close friends would know. But that changed pretty quick. I have a home business and so my customers would be coming to our home and being able to see his war bag, maybe a uniform so we decided I could share with them if they asked. Then we had a crazy incident happen right outside our home where DH needed to be "officer" so a few neighbors found out or told us they already knew since they saw him taking his uniforms and war bag in and out of the house. So now we really don't worry about it. We are a very faith-based family so if we feel it is okay then we share, if not we just say "work for the state". 

3. Decide how much off-duty work is permissible. 

Let just say this topic is for both of us. Being a teacher (and last year working on building a new curriculum) I bring work home occasionally. But working from home, I can be working all of the time. So we have an agreement, if one person is working then the other can. So when I am at school I assume he is getting his reports done if he did not finish them at his work days. Now I really try not to work my business on our days off together but sometimes I have to make deliveries and so most of the time we do them together and we will grab lunch or dinner out while we do so. Honestly, as long as you make sure you create time for each other and time for family you do not worry about how much time a part (working) you have. Make the time you have together really count! 

4. Have an off-duty carry plan

Now this was a whole new idea for me. I never grew up familiar with guns. and the idea that he would be carrying one all the time was scary at first. But I chose to educate myself and prepare myself. We go to the range together so that I know how to use it and feel comfortable around it and other guns. But when it comes to a "plan" if he had to use it, we actually have never really talked about it. I mean we have probably joked about it now and then and mentioned something quick but never an actual plan. This is probably because we do not have kids yet but a plan of action is something that is needed and should be talked about. 

5. Get used to unusual hours / going to events on your own

I learned this one really quick. And honestly it wasn't a problem at all. I knew what I was getting into when I married him. I knew he would miss holidays, birthday, events... and I am okay with all of that because he has a career he loves! What you have to get use to is the people always asking where he is. I mean if he is not with me at this lovely event where do you think he is??? LOL So get use to saying it over and over at the event and don't let anyone burst your bubble and make you feel sad about it. He has an amazing career and we have an amazing life together. May not be the norm but its our journey/adventure and I wouldn't want it any other way!

6. Embrace other police families

I feel so privileged and honored that the CHP organization truly wants us to feel like a family itself. We had a large group of officers from his class go to his specific office so the wives/girlfriends of the group got a chance to get close. This has been fantastic! It is so nice to feel like we have someone going through the same thing and be able to discuss our frustration with someone other than our other half. Also, recently our office has had a wives get together, again to we have people to talk to and go to when we are struggling adjusting to this new life. I couldn't be more happy about feeling like I have people to go to and connect with who will actually understand what we are going through because they are going through it too or have already been through it. 

7. Don't be afraid to ask for help

Still working on this one. Even though I said i am very happy about having the people to go to for help, that still doesn't mean I use them. I tend to think I can handle a lot on my own and try to just hide it but more recently I am learning to share my concern and talk it out with other wives or better yet my husband. When he first started I kept thinking to myself "his job is hard enough as it is, he doesn't need my stress on top of it. But we are a family. He can handle me needing help and working with me, he can't handle me crazy and not understanding what is going on. Know it is okay to talk things through with the people God has put in your life and that you husband needs to know it too. 

8. Be confident in the strength of your relationship

Now this is no problem for us at all. Once you go through the academy together and make it through that, you can do anything! LOL We have a very strong foundation in God when it comes to our relationship so when things get through we turn to Him, together and we always find our way through it. We know God has a plan for our lives together and with Him guiding it, we will be just fine. We are learning to just enjoy this crazy, amazing journey he has us on and knowing that we are going through exactly what we need to be to get to where He wants us to be.